Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Can cheating be a result of not truly loving or caring for someone, or is it sometimes just a spur of the moment decision?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What do feminists mean when they say they want to ‘normalize’ menstruation and its discussion?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why are leftist movements so popular among young people?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Can we trust the Bible when Constantine and the First Council of Nicaea took out many books of the Bible and altered existing translation by removing things?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Do you find Anushka Sen attractive?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What is the recommended approach for creating a film or TV script? Should the script be written first or should the story be developed first? Why?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Is it possible to make cars that run on water instead of gasoline or other fossil fuels? Why haven't we done so yet?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Can you give an example of a documentary where the person telling the story believed it to be true, but it turned out to be false?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why am I sweating so much when I try to do anything?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What’s the best way to get over someone you love?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes